Welcome to the first edition of my semi-regular feature, "Stoopid Iz Az Stoopid Duz", in which I attempt to chronicle what can happen when stupid people breed. To wit:
Voting video's 'nipple shot' boobs in Ireland. You know, in the end, it really IS a choice between two boobs.
Indian aims to be world's worst politician. Sorry, you're a bit too late. That distinction has already been claimed by the current occupant of the White House.
eBay axes 'Schwarzenegger's DNA' listing: A used cough drop was up for sale. I'm just grateful it was the Dixie cup from his latest urine test.
Rat's urine not good for breasts. Ubetcha, and drinking battery acid isn't going to do much for your sex drive, either, eh?
DAVID A RAPPER? NO HASSEL. Just in case there was any lingering doubt, let me just state for the record that rap music has officially "jumped the shark."
Couples queue to touch statue's nipples.Jeez, I shudder to think what they'd be fondling if the statue were male....
What Is She Thinking About During Sex? Hmm...probably what color to paint the ceiling- "Beige! I'll paint it beige!!"
KEEPING MEN ON TARGET. Am I the only one put off by the idea of a toilet talking back to me in a female voice? I KNOW my aim is bad; do I really need a female toilet to provide negative reinforcement?
Is Andy Kaufman dead or alive? Umm, I dunno, but I have a feeling that no matter where he is, he's playing poker with Elvis as they laugh their asses off.
Flatulent bulldogs rule as Cannes top dogs. They're fine, just as long as you're not standing downwind....
'STARKERS' RAVING MAD A world record for naked rollercoaster riding? Let's just hope they cleaned the seats after they broke the record....
Beer distributor to pull ads deemed offensive. Hmm..."Finally, a Cold Latina". How could ANYONE come to the conclusion that the ads "propagates negative stereotypes of Hispanic women as being loose or overly sexual"??
Sex at age 12 okay under law change. Well, that would explain why so many registered sex offenders are moving to New Zealand, eh??
