Hostettler mounting campaign to change the name of Interstate 69
Our latest DUMBA$$ AWARD wiener is almost too good to believe. We’re fighting a senseless war of aggression in Iraq, our economy is flat-lining, our government is taking a hard-right turn in pursuit of ideological purity, and Rep. Hostettler is worried about the name of a FREEWAY?? WTF?
John Hostettler, the Congressman representing the 8th district of Indiana, has been convinced by local religious groups to introduce legislation in the House that would change the name of an Interstate 69 extension to a more moral sounding number.
There are plans to extend the interstate from Indianapolis through southwestern Indiana all the way through Texas into Mexico in the coming years. While most believe this highway will be good for the state’s economy, religious conservatives believe “I-69” sounds too risqué and want to change the interstate’s number.
Hostettler, a proponent of the interstate extension, agrees. “Every time I have been out in the public with an ‘I-69’ button on my lapel, teenagers point and snicker at it. I have had many ask me if they can have my button. I believe it is time to change the name of the highway. It is the moral thing to do.”
As a matter of fact, naming the highway’s extension I-69 is a violation of the Interstate Highway System’s rules for numbering roads. Interstates numbers are to increase from west to east. If the extension through southern Indiana is named I-69, then 69 will be west of I-65, a direct violation.
“Naming the road I-63 not only follows numbering guidelines, it doesn’t have the sexual undertones that I-69 has,” says Hostettler, “It is a win-win situation.”
IT’S A HIGHWAY…how can a slab of concrete have “sexual undertones”?? Have we completely lost our collective grip on reality?
I cannot believe that this is even an issue. This falls under the “it’s only an issue if you choose to make it one” rubric. If you’re small-minded enough to see something sexual in the name of an interstate highway, might I suggest that you find yourself a hobby? Clearly, you need to do something to expand your horizons. That a Congressman is making an issue out of this should be an embarrassment to the people of his district, never mind to decent, hard-working legislators anywhere. I know something about embarrassment- Tom DeLay is my Congressman. Feel free to email me your condolences.
Ooo…I’ve got a great idea. How about we rename it I-666? Now THAT ought to get the attention of a certain DUMB@$$, eh?
Can we now get back to worrying about things THAT ACTUALLY MATTER?? Thank you. That is all.
