Here's a few clues (Chapter 3)

…you hear George W. Bush’s voice and get an erection

…you hear Ann Coulter’s voice and you get an erection

…you avoided military service but refer to the military as “our” soldiers

…you believe in affirmative action for the privileged, but if it’s for the poor or minorities, it’s unfair

…you think Bush is the most eloquent president we’ve ever had

…you think Al Gore is a radical

…you think that a repeat of those handy WWII internment camps will take care of all the terrorists (foreigners) before they even THINK of doing anything

…you whine about welfare mothers but count on major subsidies, tax breaks, etc. for your own corporation and still refuse to pay any more than minimum wage

…your hands are silky smooth and you’ve never had a blister

…you actually believe Jesus Christ would support capital gains tax cuts

…you can listen to Tom Delay for more than 2 minutes without vomiting

… you really believe the framers intended for you to own a Mack-10

…you find the FOX News Channel to be “fair and balanced”

…you believe that Pat Robertson is a good, honest man even though he prayed for the DEATH of three Supreme court judges

…you think WWII started in 1941

…you think Thomas Jefferson was a commie for suggesting dissent is the highest form of patriotism