It’s a 5-way race for Texas governor
Nickname ‘Grandma’ may not make ballot
AUSTIN - It’s official. Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn and satirical musician-author Kinky Friedman will be on the November ballot in a five-way race for governor, the state’s chief elections official said Thursday…. With four high-profile candidates in the race, the winner likely will be decided by a plurality, rather than a majority, of votes. The last time that happened was in 1990, when Democrat Ann Richards defeated Republican Clayton Williams with less than half of the vote, thanks to a third candidate, Libertarian Jeff Daiell. And it’s been a while since an independent was elected to the state’s top office. Sam Houston, a hero of the war for independence from Mexico, was the last independent to be elected Texas governor — in 1859.
For the first time in…well, forever…it looks as if Texas voters will have something resembling honest-to-God choices when it comes to voting for Governor in November. I’m not certain that choosing among five mediocrities is necessarily much of an improvement, but anything that reduces the likelihood of Governor Goodhair being returned to the Governor’s Mansion in Austin is probably a good thing.
I suppose the good news is that this Gubernatorial race promises to be at least more entertaining that the usual Republican coronation process. Let’s face it; here in Texas, history shows that the GOP could run a bankrupt child molester and still win the Governor’s race. Even if Democrats put up St. Francis of Assisi as their scarificial lamb, the Republican would still win. This time around, though, while the end result may still be the same, at least the entertainment factor will be MUCH higher. Let’s hope that it will also have the added bonus of attracting more voters and thus forcing Governor Goodhair to seek new employment.
Will this Gubernatorial campaign actually involve some honest debate about the issues facing the Great State of Texas, or will it devolve into the battle of dueling nicknames? Well, from where I sit, I imagine the race will break down something like this:
Carole Keeton Strayhorn will ride her self-styled “One Tough Grandma” persona as hard and as far as she can, then she’ll resort to bashing Governor Goodhair. It’s not as she’s lacking ammunition for that, eh?
Kinky Friedman will continue to be his cigar-smoking, politically incorrect, iconoclastic self. Hey, don’t get me wrong; I like Friedman. I’m just not sure that being a political goofball is a reason to vote for him.
Chris Bell will continue to be invisible, and Texas Democrats will continue to run around in circles, all the while bemoaning their fate.
Rick Perry will run on his “record”, which will be framed by his consultants to be all things to all Texans. Wait…Governor Goodhair has a record??
James Werner will do what Libertarians do…which may well involve making campaign appearances wearing a tinfoil helmet.
There…it’s so much easier when you break things down scientifically (apologies to mi compadre Nick Bakay), no?
Yes, ladies and gentlemen; let the pandering and the cheap, simplistic rhetoric begin….
