Schwarzenegger to order troops to border
In what can only be interpreted as a final, desperate attempt to bring Mexico into line, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has ordered California National Guard troops to the Mexican border. While the California and federal governments have been at odds over who would pay for the latest act of overt aggression against the hated Brown People, most Guard troops were excited about the possibility of finally being able to get a decent table at Carlos & Charlies in Tijuana. Said PFC “Nuke” LaLoosh, “Dude, I can’t WAIT to be able to get me one of them margaritas with their top-shelf tequila! And I hear there are a lot of drunk college girls from UCLA there this time of year.”
The Governator, while he swears the he holds no hostile intentions toward the Brown People, was careful to play to his Conservative base, stating “We must protect our Homeland from terrorism…and from cheap tequila and pirated ‘copies of “Knight Rider’.” Now that the federal government has agreed to pick up most of the cost for California’s role in Our Glorious Leaders long War on Brown People, the Governator has sworn to rain death and destruction upon those who would deny Americans their undeniable right to cheap margaritas and “Girls Gone Wild In Tijuana” videos.
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger agreed Thursday to send the California National Guard to the Mexican border, ending a 17-day standoff with the Bush administration.
The two sides had been at odds over whether California Guardsmen would join the effort to bolster the Border Patrol and who would pay for it.
They reached an agreement under which California will contribute about 1,000 Guardsmen for border duty and the federal government will pick up the full cost, Schwarzenegger said.
“It is not my preference to send the National Guard, but there’s an important need to protect the border,” he said.
Yeah…from people who would try to horn in on all of those drunken UCLA coeds….
