TOPEKA, Kan. - Conservative Republicans who approved classroom standards that called evolution into question lost control of the state Board of Education in Tuesday’s primary election. Five of the 10 seats on the board were up for election in the primary, the latest skirmish in a seesawing battle between faith and science that has opened Kansas up to international ridicule.
“Opening Kansas up to international ridicule”? WTF? This is Kansas we’re talking about here. The state is literally as flat as a pancake, and it’s overrun by the sort of Evangelical Social Conservatives that make Pat Robertson look like the Angel of Mercy. Kansas, by definition is pure comic relief; that’s it’s been “opened to international ridicule” is hardly newsworthy. Of course, now that the Flat Earth Society (the Kansas Board of Education’s Conservative Republican majority) has taken a hit at the ballot box, inquiring minds want to know: What does this meanfor Evangelical Christianity? If Christians can no longer use public schools to indoctrinate the children of Kansas to believe that dogma trumps empiricism any day of the week (and twice on Sunday), what WILL they do?
Last November, the Board of Education’s 6-to-4 conservative Republican majority rewrote testing standards for public schools to incorporate language supported by advocates of intelligent design, which holds that life is so complex it must have been created by some kind of higher power. The new standards say that some aspects of evolution are contradicted by scientific evidence. (Click here for a PDF file listing the standards.)
Of course, the new standards were clearly created to protect the children of good, God-fearing Kansans from the insidious agents of Satan (i.e.- Democrats), who would use the forces of darkness and Evil to tempt our children into believing in scientific “fact”s (Sure, you can “prove” it, but what does Scripture say?). After all, if God had meant for us mere mortals to believe in science, we would have been born wearing white lab coats. Any REAL, God-fearing American KNOWS that God made the world in seven days, and on the eighth day he created the Republican Party.
On Tuesday, three members of the majority faced GOP primary foes who support evolution. A fourth Republican conservative is retiring, and her seat was up for grabs.
The fifth seat was held by Janet Waugh, a Kansas City Democrat who opposed the new standards. Facing a more conservative Democrat who favored the anti-evolution language, she won with 65 percent of the vote and will be unopposed in the fall.
With the unofficial count virtually complete, two of the three conservative Republican incumbents ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ John Bacon and Ken Willard — held onto their spots on the ballot.
However, the third conservative, Connie Morris, lost to Sally Cauble, a moderate Republican who supports evolution. Meanwhile, the Republican nod for the board’s open seat went to another moderate, Jana Shaver. That combination would swing the balance of power toward those who oppose the board’s current educational standards.
Tuesday’s vote was being monitored by scientific groups throughout the country, with most of the attention focused on Morris’ race in western Kansas. The retired teacher had described evolution as “an age-old fairy tale” and “a nice bedtime story” unsupported by science.
Uh…and I wonder if we might ask Ms. Morris what planet she hails from. Perhaps on Planet Reebok evolution might not be supported by science, here on Planet Earth…well, let’s just say that there is ample evidence to support evolution as a viable theory…unless, of course, your theological underpinnings require to completely ignore objective reality.
Normally, the theory behind “Intelligent Design” holds that some higher intelligence must be responsible for creating the Universe, given it’s myriad, far-flung intricacies. Of course, that does NOTHING to explain how Kansas came into being.
