Well, it’s finally happening. She Who Endures My Myriad Eccentricities and I are going to war. No, weren’t not going to Iraq…and we’re certainly not headed into combat. Hell, we’re not that stupid. We’re going to war with Bailiff.
Don’t get me wrong; I love Bailiff. He can be a real sweetheart. When he’s good, he’s very good, but when he’s bad…. Well, I don’t know if y’all remember the scene from The Exorcist where Linda Blair’s head does a 360, but that’s pretty much what happens to Bailiff. He jumps, he nips, he bites…in short, when he’s out of control he’s completely unmanageable. His behavior has become so bad that we’ve seriously discussed finding a new home for Bailiff. As much as I hate that prospect, something’s got to give. We’ve taken him to obedience training, and while he’s a star in class, at home he can be the canine equivalent of Hannibal Lecter.
So we’re going to war with Bailiff. He’s on a leash every moment that we’re home and awake. He eats when we let him, he goes to another room when we let him, he plays with Judge when we let him, he even goes to the bathroom when- and only when- we let him. When we’re asleep or not at home, Bailiff is crated. The idea, and the hope, is that eventually he’ll learn that he is not the Boss. We are.
Frankly, this falls under the “desperate times call for desperate measures” rubric. I’ve never loved a dog like I’ve loved Judge and Bailiff. Judge is well-behaved and easy-going. Bailiff has his moments, but more often than not he’s Ron Artest hopped up on Red Bull, espresso, and road rage. We both love Bailiff, and we both want to keep him, so we’re committed to doing what it takes to get his behavior under control. This is why we’re going to war. I just hope we don’t take any casualties.
