Naked woman discovered in apartment: Uh, and why, exactly, is this a problem? Some of us might be thinking that God has finally answered our prayers…and this dumbass calls the police? What is wrong with people these days?
‘Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen?’: Tom Tancredo ‘sploding in 4…3…2….
Fried Turkey Safety Video: The goal, of course, is to fry the turkey- NOT roast your own ass or burn down your garage. Then again, it’s a free country, so knock yourself out….
Alaska’s `Papa Pilgrim’ gets 14 years: Uh, if you’re going to take your family into the remote wilderness in order to raise them accordingly to your narrow interpretation of biblical principles, you might want to keep in mind that “schtupping your daughter” is NOT one of the Ten Commandments.
Giuliani billed obscure agencies for trips: Hmm…who knew that the mayor’s office budget in New York City had a line item for “adulterous weekends in the Hamptons”? You, Rudy, how’s them there family values working out for you??
Scrubbing the Oregon GOP: Pesky Democrats got you down? Don’t worry; it’s nothing a little Zyklon B can’t take care. Yes, let Zyklon B take care of those annoying libtards and that annoying residue they leave behind. Zyklon B- because it’s not too much to expect to be able to preserve White Power and ideological purity.
Cheney Hospitalized: Bush Briefly Takes Over As President: Thankfully, our long national nightmare is over, as Darth Vader has rightly reassumed the throne in the
Death Star Oval Office.
Victim of vile scumbags: What, Karl Rove and Tony Snow are back in the news again??
Why you should be eating ice cream and burgers: And while you’re at it, I think I’ll have extra cheese with that extra cheese….
Christians Consider Drinking Beer Acceptable According to ChristiaNet.com Poll: Also found to be acceptable were adultery, smoking crack, sex in airport men’s rooms, and stealing office supplies from your employer.
Red Cross ousts leader after 6 months at helmSure, he was boinking a subordinate…after working for the IRS, he probably figured he could screw anyone anytime.
Springtime for Hitler: The nerve of some folks, staging a theatrical tribute to a megalomaniac and serial murderer. No, not the one in the White House, silly…..
Romney: Muslims not needed in Cabinet: Yeah, ‘cuz those Mormons are so depressingly mainstream….
Canadian PSAa Are Clearly Not Messing Around: That does it; I am NEVER going back into the kitchen. EVER. Subway delivers, right??
Paultard Blimp Videos Open Hearts, Wallets: YAY!! A rathole into which Libertarians and other unbalanced sorts with more money than sense can pour large amounts of cash!
Finally, Polo in Iraq!: Thank GOD for the brave, resolute, steadfast, and insightful leadership provided by Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © , without whom Iraq would be just another Middle Eastern hellhole and we’d be having to buy gifts for 4,000 more Americans.