For the absolute latest and most cutting-edge, state of the art, forehead-vein-popping, I despise your lifestyle and beliefs and therefore you’re evil hatred, I always like to look to two reliable sources: Fred Phelps and Michael Savage. Yes, whenever I’m in the mood for some world class denigration, willingness to oppress, and balls-to-the wall hatred of the unenlightened, I always know where to go, and seldom do I come away disappointed. Even so, lately I find myself yearning for something different, something more virulent and divisive. Yes, I’m not afraid to admit it; I like…no, I need variety in my hatred.
Phelps, whose site I’m sick of linking to- why give him and his merry band of troglodytes more traffic they don’t deserve?- may be a world-class hater and an uber-Christian demigod, but he really needs to change up his act. “God hates fags?” Please; can we find a different shtick? I’ve long since grown tired of the Westboro Baptist Church cretins being as offensively disrespectful as they have been. Since when does pouring salt in the wounds of the grieving make for an effective advertisement of their particular brand of pseudo-Christianity? How could protesting and spreading their ignorance at Heath Ledger’s funeral possibly serve to bring more people to Jesus Christ? Especially given their twisted-beyond-recognition version of His teachings? What a bunch of (&^%$#@ morons.
What Would Jesus Do? Well, I’m not a Christian, but I’ve gotta believe that He’d be kicking Phelps’ ass from here to Tuesday…and then He’d come back for the rest of the ignorant WBC dickweeds. After all, who died and appointed Phelps and his troglodytes the arbiter of all that’s Godly? These fools might trying removing their anteriors from their posteriors and crack the New Testament every now and then.
Savage, whom I wouldn’t link to if you hooked my testicles up to a tank battery, must be on some SERIOUS blood pressure medication. I mean, have you heard the man? When he gets wound up, he’s a sight to behold, but the veins in his forehead must be under tremendous stress. I’d imagine it would be difficult to maintain such virulent, self-superior hatred for such extended periods of time, but Savage is a marvel of nature. By maintaining such a high level of hatred and antipathy against anyone who dares to offend his tender sensibilities, Savage displays an almost superhuman level of arrogance, ignorance, and self-righteousness…and a heart of stone. Impressive doesn’t begin to do his skills justice.
There is some good news, though. Savage is finally beginning to lose some of the biggest advertisers on his nationally-syndicated radio show. It’s nice to see the fool taking a shot in the only place he’d understand it- his bottom line. Yes, lose enough advertisers and eventually you’ll find yourself working as a greeter at Walmart…or flipping burgers. Then again, that might be a better fate than Savage deserves.
I’m all for virulent, angry, destructive hatred…but, damn…can we please changes things up now and then? This sort of lunacy has continued unabated for far too long…and I’m frankly bored with it.
NEXT!!!
