The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- George Carlin
After six months of a rather monastic and ascetic existence, I can feel myself finally beginning to emerge from my protective shell. While I never expected to be where I am today, the reality is that my here and now is what it is...and I'm beginning to like the way life is unfolding for me. My life may look a fair bit different from what I'd been expecting it might at this point, but I feel as if I've finally begun to turn things around. I'm happy, I have something to look forward to, and I like where I am. It's not been an easy trip, but I am where I am and I can finally recognize that in many respects I'm a very fortunate person. I see possibilities, and- given where I've been- that's a very nice place to be.
Sometimes, when I'm in a particularly contemplative mood and the weather is nice, I'll hop in my car and drive up to the Pittock Mansion in Portland. Not only is this my favorite place in the city (hey, if you're looking to steal a kiss from that special someone, I would highly recommend it), but it's also a place I can find always peace and solitude when I need it. So it was yesterday morning, when, after having breakast with a friend in NW Portland, I stopped by the Pittock Mansion on my way home. As usual, the quiet and the solitude worked their magic. Before long, I found myself focused on birds chirping and the sounds of the city below. Not long after that, my mind was pretty well cleared of whatever worries I'd taken there with me. Instead of wondering what happens next, I found myself enjoying the moment and what had led up to it. It's nice to be in a place where smiling is beginning to feel natural again. It sure as heck beats the alternative, eh?
No, life isn't perfect, but I've never expected it to be. All I've really been hoping for over the past few months is to find a place where I can look forward to what the future might hold for me. It's nice to think that I might actually be there, and that I might have something to look forward to. I'm starting to like this.... ;-)
