The Rapture: You've Been Left Behind - Now What?
[S]ome asshole/genius has decided to launch a little service where in the days after the Rapture those who've been whisked off to heaven are given one last chance to convert (read: gloat over) their loved ones. For those of you who, like me, are utterly perplexed at that last sentence (and not just for grammatical reasons), the Rapture is this Evangelical Christian belief (theory?) that at some point Jesus is going to come down to earth and raise up all the "true" Christians and it basically kinda sucks to be the "untrue" Christians left down on terra firma, because the anti-Christ is more or less going to be running the show. (Wait, hasn't that been happening for the last 7.5 years? Ooh, snap!)
Well, I don't know about you, but if this were to happen, I think I'd be looking on the bright side. My first reaotion would probably be, "SWEET!! There's gonna be a real glut in the real estate market! I'll bet I can finally get a townhouse in northwest Portland for a song!! Dude...I'm going to buy a place with a view of Mt. Hood!!" Or maybe I'll just buy one of the suddenly superfluous churches and refit it, like "Alice's Restaurant". And once I'm done with that, perhaps I'll buy myself a golf course... and maybe a cruise ship ship or a 747...or maybe even a Third World country.
Just think of the possibilities.... ;-)
