Blind Faith In Unregulated Markets Stoked Economic Crisis: That's the beautiful thing about capitalism. Free markets are self-regulating mechanisms. Right? Uh, wait....
Passengers Flee Burning Jet At Denver Airport: So, other than that, how was the flight??
Famous octuplets reach milestone. Seven survived to enjoy their 10th birthday: Now here's an eloquent argument for celibacy if ever there was one....
Troops find 2.5 tons of marijuana in Afghan school: Somewhere, Jeff Spicoli is weeping....
Man drowns in manure lagoon: No matter how bad your weekend was, it can't possibly begin to approach this poor soul's final moments.
Rick Warren Defends Obama Inauguration Invite: 'I Love Gays And Straights': Sure, it's just that some are more equal than others...and I think we know who those are, don't we? So says the poster boy for "Christian" hypocrisy.
MTV Plans 16 New Reality Shows As Ratings Drop: Uh...didn't the "M" used to stand for "Music"?? Did I miss something somewhere along the way??
Cheney Echoes Nixon: If The President Does It During Wartime, It Is Legal: Well, it would seem that Niccolo Machiavelli isn't dead, eh? If Dick Cheney is not on trial by this time next year, you can take that as official confirmation that accountability is dead.
NY Governor Paterson laments loss of bonus tax money: Every action has an equal and (generally unintended) opposite reaction. If Sir Isaac Newton were alive, I do believe I'd buy him a shot of Jagrmeister.
Sac State Grad Selling Her Virginity For Tuition: Damn, and I'm about $248,700 short. Here's the amazing thing, though, a woman who made it through college with her virginity.