....Man, you have to know you're talking some crazy $#!& when it's too out there for The Dumbest )&^%$#@ Human Being on the Face of the Planet ©. And that Michele Bachmann is the one peddling the craziness seems oddly appropriate.
....You have to know that you are thoroughly, totally, completed (&^%$# when Sarah Palin is the most popular figure in your party. Man, it's gotta suck to be a Republithug these days.... ;-)
....Yippee!! Now I can get pRoN on my iPhone. My God, I LOVE this country.... (Update: False alarm. Apparently, Apple has a problem with attractive naked women. Personally, I'm OK with that...but I'm a pig.)
....How many people does it take to break the Internet? Apparently only one- if your name happens to be Michael Jackson.
...If your attorney is sleeping in a trash can, it might be time to start shopping for a new attorney.
....If you have to read Mark Sanford's emails to his lover in order to generate a modicum of excitement in your life...well, you really ought to get out more.
....Oh, just in case you were wondering...Jeff Goldblum is not dead. Michael Jackson still is, though.
....Thanks to Stephen Colbert for setting me straight on the problems associated with gay exorcisms. Man, I had NO idea....
....How is Nancy Pelosi even worse and more evil than Kim Jong-il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Well, let Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA) explain...'cuz my head hurts if I think about it too much.
....Man, it cannot be fun to be Mark Sanford these days. Sanford may just be, as Jon Stewart said, "another Conservative politician with a LIberal penis," but it's not playing well in South Carolina. Sanford resigns and moves to Argentina in 4...3...2....
