Wingnut Christians have a powerful new ally in the War On Xmas: It's a website full of retailer ratings to let you know if maybe Jews or Atheists or (God forbid!) Muslims are making the Xmas Season less Christ-y! StandForChristmas.com reports and decides on which chain stores (WalMart) know the "reason for the season," and which homosexual shops (Best Buy, The Gap) are trying to make nice with anti-American forces such as Muslims, Jews and Atheists.
Ah, yes...'tis the season for righteous indignation and unfocused rage. Every year round about this time it happens: self-professed Christians with serious anger-management problems go ballistic over every perceived slight to the baby Jesus. Never mind that these zealots spend the rest of the year making Christianity look about as inviting as a lobotomy sans anesthetic; THE WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS IS ON, DAMNIT!!! These maroons spend their holidays on hyperalert, sensitive to anything that offends their sensibilities and might, even tangentially, be perceived as "anti-Christmas". Yes, without the brave selflessness of Bill O'Reilly and others (who no doubt haven't cracked a Bible since they were 12), Christmas would be just another Hallmark holiday, and we'd be more concerned about gifts and retail sales figure than in honoring the birth of Jesus Christ.
Uh, wait...we ARE more interested in gifts and retail sales figures....
Of course, I suppose we should be thankful that these zealots have focused their considerable ire on something pointless and made up out of whole cloth. Otherwise, we'd have to worry about them trying to actually do something useful...like, oh, I don't know...feeding the hungry or clothing the poor. No self-respecting Christian would enable the poor and downtrodden. After all, if they'd just get a job...right??
Somewhere warm and breezy, Jesus weeps quietly into his Corona....
