I’m never going to be famous. I don’t do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.
- Dorothy Parker
Anyone who’s hung around my dark, dank little corner of da Interweb for any appreciable length of time has been subjected to one of my irregular (but not necessarily infrequent) existential crises. Number one on the list is generally something along the lines of “Does anyone even read this s—t?”…followed closely by “What, exactly, is the point of all this…or is it just so much mental masturbation?” September 3rd will mark nine years that I’ve been doing this, and I’m no closer to an answer now than I was back in 2001 when I was a technical writer looking for a diversion when I doing contract work for Enron in Houston. Sometimes, I’m not even certain that finding those answers would be a good thing.
Every now and again, I struggle with the question of “Why…?” Why do I do this? Why do I assume that anyone’s actually paying attention? Why park myself at my laptop at 5am every day? After nine years, I’ve seen a lot of blogs come and go, and I’ve seen a lot of them blow past me and leave me in their rear-view mirror. I don’t have connections in the media, and WWJD hasn’t caught fire in the way that some other blogs have. I’m not really sure why, but I console myself that with the conviction that profitability and a large following is not proof positive of quality writing. At least, I hope that what I’m doing is quality writing. ;-)
What got me thinking in those terms now was seeing TIME’s list of their top 25 blogs. This year, like every other year, WWJD was not on the list. No surprise there, I suppose; on a good day, WWJD might get 500 pages views…assuming that the tracking site I use even measures that accurately. To be honest I have no idea how many people stumble across WWJD on a daily basis. What I do know is that there are a number of people around the world who have been regular readers for a long time…and that’s something that humbles me. It never ceases to amaze me that my rants are read by people from here to Toronto to Australia to…well, all over the place. That’s something I hope I’ll never take for granted.
In a perfect world, I’d love to be able to support myself on my blogging. There are people out there who have achieved sizable financial success, but since I don’t live in New York or Los Angeles…well, it’s unlikely that a relatively anonymous blog in Portland, OR will ever amount to anything more than a diversion. If I was doing this in the hopes of supporting myself, I would have starved long ago. I continue doing it for the reasons I’ve always done it- I love writing, I have a lot to say, and WWJD provides me a safe outlet to get some things off my chest. Sometimes I come across as arrogant and intolerant, but it’s really just poorly-challenged passion. I have some pretty strong opinions, and as befits someone who’s been diagnosed with ADD, I tend to be rather unfocused when it comes to what I write about.
To those of you who’ve been subjecting yourself to my rants for lo, these many years…thank you. I’m humbled beyond measure that my readership reaches around the world. To those of you with deep pockets looking for a writer with a lot on his mind, I’m not hard to find…and I’m willing to listen. To those of you who think I’m a flipping idiot and a borderline Socialist…well, it’s still a free country, and I’ve been called (and thought to be) worse.
Perhaps someday I’ll figure out how to turn WWJD into a profitable venture. To refer to that as a dream come true would be a substantial understatement. Until then, I’ll continue stringing together complete sentences as long as it remains fun and challenging. I still have a lot to say…though y’all may not necessarily be interested in what’s bouncing around my pointy little head.
In the meantime, I think I need another cup of coffee. Have a great day, y’all…. ;-)
