I get to go from New York to San Diego in five hours, AND someone touches my balls?? That’s a great deal!! Maybe I should charge them a baggage handling fee.
- Lewis Black
Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away, traveling didn’t involved everything just short of a cavity search. Now, it’s probably just a matter of time before cavity searches become de riguer (suppository bombs, anyone??). Based on what has clearly morphed into what can only really be described as Security Theater of the Absurd, you have to know that Osama bin-Laden is laughing his arse off somewhere in North Waziristan. If you think the terrorists haven’t won simply because they haven’t “hit us” since 9.11, you should seriously consider liberating your anterior from your posterior. No, they haven’t killed more Americans. Yes, they’ve managed to convince us that acting like a gaggle of frightened sheeple is the only way to protect us from terrorism. If that doesn’t have al-Qaeda laughing in their beer, I don’t know what it would take.
By no means am I advocating the idea that security precautions are unnecessary. Four hijacked airplanes and 3,000 dead American civilians long ago put the lie to that argument. Still, is it too much to expect that something resembling common sense be employed to protect the American flying public? Why is the emphasis so firmly focused on making Americans FEEL safe? Is anyone actually asking if what’s being done now in the name of security actually INCREASES said security? And where does the absurdity stop?
I’m like most Americans in that I just don’t understand. I understand the need for effective screening procedures. The threats we face are real…but are the methods employed in the name of security truly effective? Or are we just being subjected to so much bad Security Karaoke because TSA figures it’s better to make us FEEL safe even if the reality may well be somewhat different?
I realize that this is the place where I could reasonably be expected to suggest an alternative. The problem is that I don’t have one. I only know that it appears that common sense and respect for individual dignity has long since left the building. In order to be granted the supreme privilege of being allowed to board an airplane and treated like cattle, Americans must do everything short of dropping trou and grabbing their ankles. Yes, I realized that I’m engaged in a fair bit of hyperbole, but just let your mind wander and play the string out a few years into the future. This sort of thing could well become a reality. Before long, in order to board a plane, I may well have to grant access to my person that I normally reserve for my Significant Other. I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but think that there’s something very, very wrong with that.
WE DESERVE BETTER. That’s why would should all be supporting Operation GrabAss. Really, do we really need to countenance an invasive technology that can detect sanitary napkins, yet can’t distinguish them from a stick of dynamite? Isn’t about time we drew a line in the sand?
If not now, when??
