June 10, 2011 6:03 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse may be upon us

How to Take a Dong Shot. Another valuable WWJD public service…. If you’re going to insist on posting a photo of your Johnson on da Interwebs, at least do it right, knowhutimean??

Rand Paul, Supposed Defender Of Civil Liberties, Calls For Jailing People Who Attend ‘Radical Political Speeches’. Because REAL Americans stay home and listen to Sean Hannity in order to know what they should be thinking.

Obama Rebuffs Democrats’ Plea To Be More Forceful. Jeebus, grow a pair, willya? I’m tired of seeing caving to Republicans being passed off as leadership.

GOP Can’t Handle The Truth About Reagan’s Record. Because propaganda is of no value if you can’t mold the truth to suit your agenda.

It’s Official: North Koreans Happier Than Americans. How do we know this? Because a highly scientific study conducted by the North Korean government says so!

Group to keep feeding homeless in spite of members’ arrests. Evidently, it’s illegal to feed the homeless in Floriduh. Hey, if God had meant for them to eat, they would have been born rich.

Every Time Blake Lively Denies a Naked Picture, Two More Emerge. There’s a very simple solution to all of this, of course- just stop taking and tweeting naked pictures of yourself.

Indiana Will Enforce Illegal Law To Defund Planned Parenthood, May Lose All Medicaid Funds. Because we’re Republicans, and we’re above your petty, meaningless laws. We answer to a higher authority- Roger Ailes.

Letter to Editor Advocates Stoning ‘Slut Women’. Well, that’s certainly one way to “solve” the problem, eh?

Top Reagan Economic Advisor: Return To Clinton-Era Tax Rates Would Not Hurt Economic Growth. Wait for it…he’ll be crucified in the Right-wing press in 4…3…2….

Scott Walker Tries To Cut Men Out Of Wisconsin Family Planning Program. Is Scott Walker the Black Angel of Death?

Donald Trump Comically Explains His Method of Eating Pizza. Tune in tomorrow, when a talking head will breathlessly hold forth on the Donald’s preference in toilet paper.

House GOP Cuts To Nutrition Assistance Equal To One Week Of Bush Tax Cuts For Millionaires. Yeah, well, poor women and children generally don’t vote for or donate to Republicans, do they?

Today in Mutating Superbugs: MRSA in Your Milk. This is why I don’t drink milk. Well, that and the taste is disgusting.

Lugar Kowtows To Far Right, Endorses ‘Fair Tax’ Plan To Dramatically Raise Taxes On The Middle Class. “Fair” being a relative term, after all.

VS Naipaul: Women Writers Suck. Oh, man…this is NOT going to go over well. Not at all….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 10, 2011 6:03 AM.

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