Norwegians have eaten up the country’s entire stockpile of butter, partly as the result of a “low-carb” diet sweeping the Nordic nation which emphasizes a higher intake of fats. “Sales all of a sudden just soared, 20 per cent in October then 30 per cent in November,” said Lars Galtung, the head of communications at TINE, the country’s biggest farmer-owned cooperative. A wet summer which reduced the quality of animal feed and cut milk output by 25 million litres had already limited supplies and the shortage has led some pundits to suggest the world’s eighth-largest oil exporter offer some of its plentiful fuel supply in exchange for butter.
As you slather the butter and jam on your English muffins, you’re probably not thinking that, somewhere out there, a child might not be enjoying the same abundance you are. Yes, it’s true; somewhere in Oslo a child is going without, suffering the trauma of dry toast. Norway, the land of reindeer, the Midnight Sun, and the $6.00 Big Mac, is running out of butter.
I know what you’re thinking: If so many Norwegians are eating a low-carb diet, just what is it that they’ve been putting all that butter on? And if they’re running out of butter, just how much of it have they been eating? Given that Norway is the ancestral home of lutefisk and pickled herring (“Norwegian cuisine” is an oxymoron), I’m not sure I necessarily want or need to know the answers to those questions. I’m beginning to wonder if I should start going door to door in my neighborhood collecting butter for Norway?
Any real, red-blooded American Patriot can tell you that there are three things that no family should EVER run out of:
coffee
toast
butter
And so now the world sits idly by while Norway runs out of butter??
WHAT ABOUT THE POOR, INNOCENT CHILDREN??
