In Oklahoma, state lawmakers are poised to enact an “open carry” law which would allow residents with a permit to display their guns in grocery stores, libraries, and anywhere else in public. The measure is expected to be passed by the legislature and signed by Republican Gov. Mary Fallin…. Proponents of the “open carry” legislation, like Tim Gillespie, director of the Oklahoma 2nd Amendment Association, claim the measure is necessary because “we live in a dangerous world.” So dangerous, according to Republican state Senator Ralph Shortey, that people need the open display of guns to help fend off attacks from wild turkeys….
There are few things in life that scare me more than the idea of willingly living in Oklahoma. Honestly, I’ve been arguing for years that the state’s border should be encircled with a 10’ fence topped with razor wire. Oklahoma’s best possible contribution to American excellence would be as a penal colony- you know, sort of like how Australia got its start. If you’ve spent any amount of time at all in Oklahoma, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. It may not be as bat-$#!@ crazy as Arizona or as thoroughly uber-Jesus-y as Texas, but Oklahoma has it’s very own special brand of brain-dead crazy. F’rinstance, how many other states are so thoroughly and completely terrified of all things Muslim that they’d pass a law banning Sharia? The fact that few Oklahomans could even define “Sharia” seems besides the point. It’s Muslim, ergo, it’s bad and a threat to Our Way of Life ©.
Now comes the latest contrived threat, which is conveniently being used to justify “open carry”: wild turkeys. Hey, this is Oklahoma we’re talking about here; it’s a dangerous place, and if good, God-fearing Oklahomans can’t protect themselves from wild turkeys, how long do you think it will be before Sharia is forced down their throats?
Today, wild turkeys. Tomorrow? It could be evil, America-hating Islamofascists forcing their heathen, anti-Christian Sharia law upon the good Christians of Oklahoma. And if they succeed in Oklahoma….
