June 1, 2012 7:29 AM

We come not to praise Craig James, but to bury him...and bathe in rich, creamy Schadenfreude

[A]n unmitigated disaster from the start, James quit his cushy, well-paying job at ESPN to engage the likes of John Q. Texan on why he should be the state’s next senator, but instead exposed himself as a gay-baiting homophobe with laughable “communication skills” who couldn’t even convince SMU fans to vote for him. ESPN is not going to hire him back, so we’re left thinking it was all an ill-timed, poorly executed p.r. stunt in the wake of the Mike Leach/Texas Tech controversy. (Even if that was the case, Leach still comes out of this on top.)

I’m not going to use this to perpetuate the “dumb jock” stereotype, but it isn’t exactly a stretch to say that the skills that allow you to succeed athletically often don’t translate to other pursuits. Sure, there’s always name recognition, but that can also be a double-edged sword (Do you think O.J. Simpson will ever do another Hertz commercial?). In the case of Craig James, he managed to prove in textbook fashion that knowing your way around the game of football qualifies you for…well, not much of anything, really.

James managed to garner all of 4% of the vote (less than 1% for each hooker he allegedly murdered while at SMU) in the Texas GOP Senate primary on Tuesday. With that dismal showing, he succeeded in demonstrating what can happen when you begin to believe your press clippings. James blew off a very well-paying job as a college football analyst for ESPN to run for a Senate seat. He wasn’t particularly good at it, which explains why ESPN isn’t hiring him back, but observers are left to wonder just what possessed James to run? Did he not realize that being a former Texas football legend isn’t exactly a recipe for political success in the Lone Star State? Did he not do any preliminary polling (or any other sort of due diligence) to determine just how little potential support was out there? Hell, I could pull down 4%…and I no longer live in Texas (nor am I crazy enough to be a Texas Republican). Your average ham sandwich could attract more than 4%…and it would taste better while doing it.

Whether it was ineptitude, ego, lack of preparation, or a desire to commit career suicide, Craig James now finds himself at a crossroads. What’s a gay-baiting, hooker-murder-denying, embarrassment of a candidate to do?

There’s always that Dairy Queen in Lubbock, eh? Karma can be a real [insert word that rhymes with “rich” here], knowhutimean?? And Schadenfreude is its own reward….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 1, 2012 7:29 AM.

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