We’ll admit it’s no “Two Alligators, A Pole Dancer And Pot At Shooting Scene,” but it’s a close second: In Anchorage, Alaska, a double amputee named Daniel Pirtle got into a dispute with Walmart assistant manager Jason Mahi over whether Pirtle could bring his unleashed dog (named “Wookie,” because why not?) into the store. Manager dude was all “Sorry, buddy, no dogs in our Walmart,” and Pirtle was all “Oh yeah?” So Pirtle did the American thing to do: Pulled out his two pistols and shot the Walmart guy. His escape attempt was thwarted when police caught up with Pirtle’s mobility scooter a short distance from the scene. Because it couldn’t just be a story about an able-bodied loon who walks into Walmart and shoots a dude over his dog. That would be boring, man, and suddenly everywhere is Florida
March 22, 2013 4:51 AM
