So there I was, stuck in rush hour traffic, eastbound on Hwy. 26 heading into Portland. Creeping along at a majestic 17 MPH, I was focused on not rear-ending the car in front of me. Or at least I was until, without warning, I heard an awful sound, something that could only really be described using the words “Verily, for the Apocalypse is upon us.” I was on the verge of something resembling panic when I realized the hideous screech was coming from my cell phone, which until that moment had been resting quietly in the center console. It was the sort of sound I would never have imagined could be emitted by a Galaxy S4.
Once I managed to compose myself and keep my car from veering into the next lane, I was able to figure out what was going on. It was an Amber Alert. Evidently, a man in San Diego had killed his neighbor and one of her children, and then headed north in a blue Nissan Versa with her teenage daughter. An alleged sighting in northern California and then eastern Oregon triggered an Amber Alert. I had NO idea that a cell phone carrier could send an Amber Alert unbidden to virtually every cell phone anywhere. That’s the kind of information that would have been nice to know before I almost caused an accident in rush hour traffic, but it did set me to thinking.
I certainly understand the value and importance of Amber Alerts. It’s a great way to spread information, and an argument can be made that lives can be saved…but would it be too much to have provided a warning about what an Amber Alert would sound like? I’m all for protecting and possibly saving the lives of children…but I can’t imagine I’m the only one whose pacemaker skipped a few beats when the alert’s klaxon-like cacophony erupted without warning. My first reaction was to think my phone had experienced some sort of catastrophic malfunction and was announcing its departure from the corporeal realm. Twenty minutes later, it happened again in the deli section at Whole Foods. That time, at least I knew what it was, but I can’t help but wonder if the same thing couldn’t be accomplished without the Cold War-like, Armageddon-signaling histrionics.
At least now I know what to expect, but it would be nice to know that there’s a way to get news out quickly without making it sound as if World War III had broken out.
