I have gay friends and we have great relationships when it comes down to respecting each other,” he said. “It’s not something you choose to be. It’s not like, ‘I want to be a baseball player,’ or, ‘I want to be a basketball player.’ It’s something you’re born with and everybody needs to accept that. Hey, look, the way I see things, I love people the way they are. Especially if you are honest with yourself. You know what I’m saying? It’s the (expletive) 21st century man. Get over it.
Once upon a time, not so very long ago (historically speaking), the idea of interracial marriage was anathema to many Americans. Treating African-Americans as different, as “less than,” wasn’t controversial. It was the way people thought. Blacks were licentious, overly aggressive monsters incapable of rational thought…and how could any good, God-fearing White person assent to one marrying their daughter? Separate accommodations, separate water fountains, and separate restaurants were simply how society ensured the races didn’t mix. Separate but equal, it was called…with no sense of irony. It was separate, but there was certainly nothing equal about it. Jim Crow laws were designed to keep the races separate while allowing White folks the illusion that “separate” meant “equal.”
In truth, this exercise in self-delusion meant Whites gave themselves license to continue discriminating against Blacks, albeit in a different, less overt form allowing for a degree of plausible deniability. Or a collective ignorance of the truth.
It took the Civil Rights struggle for African-Americans to gain something resembling equal rights. No reasonable person would argue that perfect, seamless equality exists, but at least one prolonged and unjust system was dismantled. Unfortunately, while laws may change, attitudes often take much longer…sometimes generations. If you don’t believe me, spend some time in East Texas.
Fifty years later, we’re in the midst of another civil rights struggle, this one over something less obvious than skin color.
The more things change….
Today’s it’s still about rights. It’s about the rights to love who and how you determine is best for you. It’s about the right to imbue that relationship with the same legal rights and benefits heterosexuals take for granted. And it appears history is repeating itself. After an initial run of long-established majority support, increasing numbers of Americans are realizing that same-sex marriage is no threat- to themselves or the institutions they hold dear.
At first, it was about children. After all, the argument went, how could same-sex couples contribute to propagating the species?? The holes in this argument were easy to exploit; now only those truly committed to hatred and discrimination employ it. If marriage is about children, then millions of childless heterosexuals (myself included) should be denied the right to marry. If marriage is about two people committing to walk the path together, then it has to be about more than just children…right?? Turns out that society has a vested interest in stable, committed, long-term relationships…in whatever form they might assume.
Then came the “defending traditional marriage” argument, the most extreme being Rick Santorum’s weak offering, that legalizing same sex marriage would lead to abominations like man-on-dog sex. It’s such a breathtakingly and egregiously ignorant argument that I don’t even know where to begin…and so I won’t. Some things speak for themselves.
The fact is that the tide of history has turned against hatred and those who hate. Increasing numbers of Americans are beginning to recognize the value in “live and let live.” They’re also coming to understand that same-sex marriage is not a threat- to anything. Those who continue espousing hatred and discrimination in the name of Jesus Christ really out to dust off their Bible now and again. They might find that “live and let live” is a tenet of the religion their profess to follow. Or is it really just about hating a group because you need someone to focus your impotent rage on so that you might feel superior? Does treating others as “less than” make you feel as if you’re “more than?” If so, I’d submit you know nothing about Christianity.
It’s time that we stop putting our noses and beliefs into the business of others. It’s time to allow people to love who they choose. It’s time to recognize that who a person loves is of far less importance than that they do love.
