For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier….I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- Steven Wright
Today is my 54th birthday. I raise this only to forewarn y’all in case you detect any of my annual existential crisis. I’m not a huge birthday person, though like anyone else, I enjoy having people celebrate me, even if for only a day. It’s taken me a good long time to acknowledge that I’m worth celebrating, and it’s still feels a bit odd, but (finally) seeing myself in a positive light is something I’m learning to like. That doesn’t mean my annual “OHMIGAWD, What have I done with my life” existential crisis isn’t going to have its annual 2-3 day run. For your sake (and mine), I’ll try to keep it to a minimum
I can look back at my life and see that I’m an incredibly fortunate person. No, the ride hasn’t always been smooth, but that’s life, eh? If your road hasn’t been at least a bit bumpy, can you even say you’ve lived? Have you risked anything? Have you tried, failed, gotten up, and rushed headlong into the fray all over again? I’ve known a LOT of failure in my time, but most of it I can look back and recognize that I was fortunate for those experiences. I’ve learned and grown from all the screw-ups and disasters, and over the past 54 years those things have helped to make me who I am. Life isn’t perfect…but it’s not meant to be.
There are things I wish I could have done differently, bridges I wished I hadn’t burned, pain I wish I wasn’t responsible for causing. It’s taken a good long time, but I think I’ve finally found the wherewithal to forgive myself…because I know I’m going to screw up again and in ways I can’t begin to imagine. I can hardly wait.
That’s the extent of my reflections, because it’s time for me to look to the future instead of beating myself up over my past. I’ve got a pretty good life, and someone pretty awesome to share it with. There’s nothing to obsess over or complain about, and I’m learning to like that. I’m a very, very fortunate person.
I’ve got a pretty good life…and not only because it beats the alternative.
Happy Friday, y’all!
