Throughout the eastern coast of the U.S. it is storied that Oregon, and more specifically Portland, is a place that thinks “outside the box” with a forward mentality; a place where the “weird” and “different” are accepted. Having moved here two months ago from New York in hopes of finding work I would have to say I’ve witnessed just as much prejudice here as anywhere else I have travelled. I have multiple facial piercings as well as tattoos and on more than one occasion I have gone for an interview only to be informed that I would not be given employment if I chose to keep wearing my piercings. All arguments aside, I am forced to ask “why?”
Having lived in other parts of the country, I can confirm that the perception of Portland as “a place where the “weird” and “different” are accepted” is widespread. When people from other parts of the country think about Portland, there can be a tendency to believe anything goes, that people here will readily accept “weird” and “different” without so much as a second thought. The reality, of course, is that people here can be, and often are, every bit as prejudiced/unaccepting/narrow-minded as anywhere else.
Rory McEntyre has every right to dress, act, and/or look as he sees fit. In a free country, he’s guaranteed the right to express his individuality in whatever manner he deems appropriate. What he’s not guaranteed is the right to expect that others accept him without question or judgment based on their own standards and prejudices. Here in the real world, people can, will, and do judge based on physical appearance.
In Portland, as anywhere else, people have expectations and standards about personal appearance. It may not be right, and it may not be fair, but it’s a reality we all deal with. When someone’s appearance falls outside those expectations, they can be, and often are, rejected. It sucks, but there it is. McEntyre can decry the unfairness of it all he wants, but those are the rules of the game. Shouting to the four winds about the unfairness of it all isn’t going to change a thing.
In 2006, I attempted to enlist in the armed forces and was told, “We have an image to uphold around the world, and you don’t fit that image.” Taking that in stride, I went back to school instead and earned two degrees by 2012. Now I sit, two years later, struggling to even get accepted as a dishwasher (a job I held in New York for five years while in school) simply because I look different.
I moved here because I was lead to believe that the people of Portland, the people of Oregon, were not stuck in the 1800s and would not judge me a piece of human debris to be cast aside simply because I look different. Whatever my reasons for my appearance, they are my own and in no way have an impact on my skills or abilities.
We all have expectations and standards when it comes to what’s considered to be appropriate personal appearance. When someone falls outside those norms- in McEntyre’s case by a country mile- there’s an understandable tendency to recoil and reject that person. That’s not necessarily due to a person’s prejudice or narrow-mindedness. They have every right to react as they see will, just as McEntyre has every right to pierce himself wherever possible.
Fairly or otherwise, this applies to people in positions of power…in this example, people with the power to make hiring decisions. It’s not unreasonable for a hiring manager to base their decisions at least in part on whether they believe a person would be an effective representative of their brand. Employees very often represent the public face of a company, and hiring decisions are often made at least in part based on personal appearance. Again, it’s not necessarily right or fair; it just is.
McEntyre is free to present himself as he chooses, but he doesn’t have the right to expect unquestioned acceptance from others. He’s chosen to present himself in a very unconventional manner, which some undoubtedly find unsavory or objectionable. That choice, like all decisions, comes with consequences. McEntyre doesn’t have to like those consequences, but he does need to understand that his decisions have placed him in the predicament he finds himself in. That’s as true in Portland as it would be anywhere else.
I’m not going to argue that conforming to the expectations of others doesn’t suck. It’s no fun being on the receiving end of the prejudices of others, but when you’re looking for employment sometimes you have to bite the bullet. It’s the price many pay for being granted the opportunity to be on someone else’s payroll. We may not like it, but if we want to be hired and have the opportunity to make a living, that often means playing by a different set of rules. We trade absolute control over our lives for a paycheck. Such is the way of the world.
I would very much like to stay in Oregon, but the lack of respect being shown a fellow human belies what I have been told about this place and its people.
I wish Rory McEntyre the best of luck. Really, I do. I just can’t feel sorry for someone who’s made decisions only to object to the consequences that follow. His predicament is not about a lack of respect. It’s not about being treated as “less than” because he looks different. It’s about people making decisions based on their own criteria and expectations of personal appearance. Unfortunately, McEntyre’s made decisions about his own personal appearance that fall outside the norm most people find acceptable and/or appropriate. That’s neither good nor bad; it just is. If he doesn’t like those rules, he can always do what many nonconformists before him have done: go into business for himself. Then he can set his own rules and make his own way. Until then, he will be in the unfortunate position of being judged for his appearance and found wanting.
Welcome to the real world. McEntyre doesn’t have to like it, but decisions have consequences, and he seems unwilling to accept that. Unconditional acceptance is something few of us are fortunate enough to receive. Demanding that others accept you unconditionally is neither fair nor reasonable. Sometimes you need to be the one that changes, because it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to change those you come into contact with. It may not be fun and it may not seem right, but none of us are able to control the standards and prejudices of others.
Adapt or die. Or blaze your own trail. Just don’t expect others to set aside their expectations and prejudices for your convenience. No one is entitled to expect anything of others, and it’s a waste of breath to complain when people recoil from your multiple piercings and refuse to hire you. If you want acceptance, you’re going to have to be the one to change. The truth is that the world is run by small-minded people unable (or unwilling) to accept someone whose looks fall well outside generally accepted norms. Being different may be a brave and wonderful thing, but as with any decision there are consequences. If you can’t accept the latter, don’t indulge in the former…unless you like your complaints falling on deaf ears.
