Wherever is your heart I call home
Though your feet may take you far from me, I know
Wherever is your heart I call home
- Brandi Carlile, Wherever Is Your Heart
I’ve always had something of an adversarial relationship with Valentine’s Day- too much pressure, too many expectations, too much emphasis on something a special day shouldn’t be necessary to celebrate. It’s a Hallmark holiday, a device used by the greeting card and flower industries to drive up sales in the slack period between Christmas and Mother’s Day. My feeling has always been that if you need a designated day to recognize that special someone in your life, you might want to revisit your approach to that relationship…but what do I know?
This year, there won’t be any cards, flowers, or jewelry. Not that those things are good and wonderful, but Erin and I are spending a bunch of money buying a house. We’ve decided to spend Valentine’s Day hosting a party to say goodbye to our old house. If all goes according to plan, we’ll move into our new domicile in less than two weeks. This is actually the first time I’ve purchased a home, and it’s been as exciting as it has been stressful. The good news is that we’ve made it through the inspections and appraisals, negotiated what we’ve needed to…and now all that’s left is to close, which looks as if it will happen Feb. 24th. We’ve got the movers lined up, and if everything comes together we’ll be waking up in our new place before the end of the month.
This is the biggest thing Erin and I have done- and I suspect are likely to do- together. The enormity of it all has felt almost overwhelming at times, and it’s been a struggle for me. I don’t do well with things that feature lots of moving parts, and the process of selling one house while simultaneously purchasing another is nothing BUT moving parts. The process, the back and forth, and the anticipation has proven to be something of a challenge for me, but it appears we’re about to emerge out the other end no worse for wear.
In the almost four years Erin and I have been together, we’ve done some pretty amazing things together. I’m not certain that anything will be able to top buying a house and getting married in the same year. If next year is somewhat calmer I’ll be all right with that. If I had to find a word to describe my feelings, it would have to be…blessed. I’ve come to a place in my life where life feels lighter, and Erin’s been a big part of that. Her love and support as I’ve worked through what I’ve needed to has been invaluable. I’ve done the heavy lifting, to be certain, but her being behind me no matter what has helped me get to where I am. I still struggle with depression and ADD (both, sadly, disorders common among writers- lucky me), but I have far more good days than bad, and I can finally say that I’m happy and know what that means.
I’m not sure what I did to deserve Erin, but I’m also not about to ask too many questions. I feel incredibly fortunate to have found her and the life we have together. I don’t know what else I could possibly ask for (besides a winning lottery ticket).
A very wise person once told me that the secret to contentment is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. I’m in a place where I very much want what I have. I have the perspective to know that things could be far worse…because they have been. It’s taken a good long while for me to get here, but sometimes reaching a destination is more meaningful when you’re able to appreciate the journey you took to get there.
This is my Valentine’s Day card to Erin, and I hope she likes it. I made it myself, and it’s from the heart. That seems like it should be enough, don’tchathink?
