HELENA — A Montana lawmaker is seeking to strengthen the state’s indecent exposure law, stopping just short of his wish to outlaw yoga pants. Rep. David Moore on Tuesday introduced House Bill 365 in the House Judiciary Committee in response to a group of naked bicyclists who rolled through Missoula in August. The proposal would expand indecent exposure law to include any nipple exposure, including men’s, and any garment that “gives the appearance or simulates” a person’s buttocks, genitals, pelvic area or female nipple. The Republican from Missoula said tight-fitting beige clothing could be considered indecent exposure under his proposal. “Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore said after the hearing.
Today on “News from the American Taliban”….
I realize Montana is by no means a reliable “go to” source for major scandals, but this is lame even by Big Sky standards. Given the state’s minuscule population and even lower national profile, Montana is in the news…well, next to never. When they are, it’s usually because of something less than flattering, or, in this case, just plain silly. Seriously, if the biggest problem Rep. Moore has to worry about involves nipples or clothing that “give the appearance or simulates” one’s “buttocks, genitals, pelvic area or female nipple,” he really needs to find a less pervy hobby. Or take over hosting the Steve Harvey Show.
Never mind that a member in good standing of the Republican Party- you know, the folks who demand smaller, less intrusive government- is proposing outlawing things that offend his clearly tender sensibilities. Never mind his taking offense over a group of naked bicyclists riding through Missoula (he should be happy they were doing it in August and not January). No, what I want to know is how Moore plans on codifying the standards he wants to force on Montanans, most of whom actually DO want smaller, less intrusive government (and some of whom DO want to wear as little as possible on a hot summer day).
Let’s assume for the sake of argument that Moore succeeds in codifying his quasi-Mormon dress code (Is magic underwear acceptable?) into something that’s actually enforceable. How do you punish a man for not wearing a shirt during the summer (there ain’t enough jail space)? How does one decide if an item of clothing “gives the appearance of or simulates”…anything? Even more importantly, what sort of (non-pervy) person would want a government job that requires them to stare at breasts and genital areas eight hours a day? Do you hire people off sex offender registries? How does Moore propose funding enforcement efforts? Is this REALLY a just another example of Republican “small government?”
This silliness would seem to be another indicator of the truth that the GOP isn’t about small government, unless you’re talking about government small enough to enforce an intrusive, narrow-minded, repressed, authoritarian agenda. Perhaps Rep. Moore should ask himself if his attempt to dictate his Victorian morality into law is truly what his constituents elected him to do. Once he’s done that, he might also want to ask himself if all other pressing problems facing the Great State of Montana have been put to bed.
I’m guessing there’s still plenty of REAL work left to be done….
