Introduce yourself to Dr. Starner Jones, who would like to be the congressman from Mississippi’s 1st District, which covers a wide swath of the northern section of Mississippi, from the Memphis suburbs all the way east to Elvis Presley’s birthplace in Tupelo, which is also the home of the American Family Association. Dr. Jones, who has been endorsed by failed pizza teabagger Herman Cain, is one of them “common sense” teabagger conservative types who just wants a fair tax and hates the Mexicanos, stuff like that. And of course, he wants to repeal Obamacare because, as a medical doctor, according to a letter he wrote to Jackson’s Clarion-Ledger newspaper in 2009, he really doesn’t like the idea of healthcare for patients with “a shiny new gold tooth, multiple elaborate tattoos, a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and a new cellular telephone equipped with her favorite tune for a ring tone.”
Wow, another sociopathic teabagger from Mississippi who has problems with women and hates the poor and downtrodden? I know, right; like we’ve never run across that one before. Except in this case, said teabagger is an ER doc and Congressional candidate…and a published author…if what Dr. Jones is selling on Amazon can even be referred to as “literature.”
As a writer myself, I’m normally loathe to criticize someone who’s stuck with the process long enough to write and publish a book. Of course, the mere act of completing and publishing a book won’t ipso facto invites comparisons with William Faulker. This is especially true in the case of Dr. Jones’ magnum opus, which one Mississippi blogger has mined and turned into numerous porn memes. I’ll leave it to you to investigate, but they’re pretty funny.
Like so many Conservative Tea Party patriots, Dr. Jones is a strange amalgam of America-first Christianity, sexual repression, misogyny, and hypocrisy…which means he’s probably the PERFECT person to represent Mississippi in Congress.
Don’tcha just LOVE democracy??
[I]n Purple Church, no one seems to be redeemed at the end. We don’t even see any characters writhing in pain in hell like a Southern Baptist Judgment House play.
And that’s not the worst part for Jones. The worst part isn’t even that the entire book is profoundly immature in its prose and emotionally impotent in its characters. The worst part is that the book seems to be the sex-obsessed screed of a sociopathic man with some real issues in relating to women.
Besides one-dimensional, cardboard, heavily-stereotyped characters, stilted prose, and ham-handed sex scenes (“[S]he handled his member gently, as though lighting a candle to unleash a fresh scent.”), it appears that Purple Church is virtually Pulitzer-worthy. The reviews have been great…if you believe the ones from fellow Conservative (and male) Mississippi Republicans.
Given Dr. Jones’ political bona fides, I suspect he has a pretty good chance at being elected…which should only add to the perception that Mississippi is a Tea Party paradise in which simplistic Conservatism and subjugation of women are de riguer. If a man can construct twisted (not quite) Pulitzer-worthy prose (“his coed granddaughter waved from a distance…[s]he was wet with desire. The smooth, curvy slit was ripe.”), who knows what other talents he might have available with which to serve the good, God-fearing patriots of Mississippi?
I can hardly wait until he fathers a child with the 14-year-old daughter of a Republican colleague.
Talk about getting exactly the quality of leadership you deserve….
