This may well sound arrogant or disrespectful to some, but if you’re seriously thinking about voting Republican, you might want to think about having that lobotomy reversed. Not that Democrats are paragons of wisdom, righteous, and/or virtue, but Republicans have truly managed to turn stupid, ill-informed, and hyper-religiosity into performance art. If you’re reading this, you probably don’t need to be convinced, but seeing as how I argue the virtues of making evidence-based claims, here are a few examples of The Stupid in full flower:
Family Values Republican Says Marriage Is Only For Straights And Married Dudes Who Sext Interns: Marriage is rightfully only for married Conservative males who want to have sexy time outside their marriage with the college-age interns. Hey, a man’s got needs, right?? Oh…and if you believe in the sanctity of marriage, how about you stop cheating on your spouse?
Poll: One-Third Of Republicans Think Obama Wants To Invade Texas: Tests related to the poll also indicated that, not surprisingly, 1/3 of Republicans showed no discernible brain wave activity.
Texas Attorney General Sues Feds To Stop Same-Sex Spouses From Taking Care Of Each Other: Yep, nothing demonstrates one’s Conservative bona fides more than being as hateful and mean-spirited as humanly possible to those who simply want to live honest and authentic lives.
Wisconsin GOP Advances Bills Controlling How People On Welfare Eat And Pee: Even though Republicans have no program other than saying “NO!!” to virtually everything that involves spending on anything that’s not a tax break for the rich, they have no problem with doing everything in their power to demonize and shame the poor. Even if they have to spend tax dollars to do it.
Ted Cruz: Gay Marriage Is The Greatest Threat To Religious Freedom In American History: Sen. Cruz may be many things, but a reasoned, dispassionate theologian or religious historian aren’t going to be found on that list.
End Times Fanatic Who Blamed California Drought On Gays Addresses RNC Caucus Meeting: Droughts, hurricanes, train wrecks, Deflategate; isn’t it astonishing how truly powerful and malevolent the LGBT community is? Remind me not to piss off any of my gays friends.
NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom: Though she won’t assume the throne of President For Life © for another 20 months (‘course, there’s this little thing called an “election” first), the NRA is already trying to convince us that Emperor Hillary is TRYING TO STEAL OUR GUNZ!!!
Takeover! Jade Helm 15 And Eight Other Obama Plots That Keep The Right Up at Night: Convenient that this news comes just in time for the 6th Annual OBAMA’s GONNA TAKE OUR GUNZ!!! Sale, isn’t it?
Schumer Slams Boehner For Saying It’s ‘Stupid’ To Think Funding Cuts Caused Amtrak Crash: Because refusing to pay for necessary upkeep and maintenance had NOTHING to do with anything. Besides, those tracks should be able to repair themselves by now.
Ben Carson: Federal Government Doesn’t Need To Recognize Gay Marriage SCOTUS Ruling: As any good, red-blooded, God-fearing, Conservative Patriot can tell you, Conservatives need not follow laws they don’t like…especially if hating Teh Gayz is involved.
RNC Unleashes Insane Presidential Straw Poll On Unsuspecting World: The RNC knows that they have nothing of value to offer, and so they’re reduced to the time-honored panem et circenses strategy: all BENGHAZI!!!! all the time…and didja know that Obama’s planning to invade Texas??
