Bible believers are beside themselves about the prospect that marriage norms and laws are changing, but let me tell you a secret about Bible believers that I know because I was one. Most don’t actually read their Bibles. If they did, they would know that the biblical model of sex and marriage has little to do with the one they so loudly defend. Sex in the Bible includes rape, incest, master-slave sexual relations, captive virgins, and more. Of course, just because a story is told in the Bible doesn’t mean it is intended as a model for moral behavior. Does God forbid or command the behavior? Is it punished or rewarded? In the New Testament stories, does Jesus change the rules or leave them alone? By these criteria, the Bible not only describes many forms of sexual relationships (including sexually coercive relationships), it gives them the divine thumbs up.
No one who’s hung around these parts for any length of time will be surprised to learn that I consider myself good without God. My personal take on religion is that while its’ an interesting concept- being at its core about peace, love, and coexistence- the execution makes it a prime source of most of the world’s conflict and strife. I understand that it’s not necessarily religion that’s the problem. That responsibility can and should be laid at the feet of those whose religious practice too often devolves into a means and method for forcibly asserting power and dominion over those they consider “less than.” Still, religion provides a framework for those sociopaths determined to control those they despise.
In the case of Christianity, what’s really interesting is that, if you actually read the Bible, you learn that the “Biblical model” of sex and marriage isn’t nearly what members of the American Taliban believe it to be. Turns out you can’t really discuss sex as portrayed in the Bible without discussing “rape, incest, master-slave sexual relations, captive virgins, and more.” In some cases, behavior that today might well be considered unhealthy/immoral/illegal is not only condoned but endorsed. So how is it that so many who call themselves “Christians” reduce sex to an overly simplistic rule: one man and one woman in the missionary position? Are they just that boring and not interested in anything but getting in, getting the job done, and going back to TLC’s 19 Kids (And Counting) marathon? Or are they really only interested in using their “faith” to justify hatred, homophobia, and the sadly mistaken belief that they’re morally superior beings and therefore worthy of being in control?
Sex in the Bible isn’t at all what the good, pious, socially conservative members of the American Taliban believe it to be. The God of the Bible endorses things like polygamy, sexual slavery, and sexual coercion- behaviors that would (rightfully) have modern feminists busting an artery. Men could sell their daughters as concubines, the sexual services of women were often considered war booty, and a man was often obligated to marry his late sibling’s wife if that marriage had yet to produce a child. The list goes on, but if there’s one thing that’s crystal clear about sex in Biblical times, it’s that consent wasn’t a thing. There was no “No Means NO!” or date rape. There were merely women whose sexual capacities were considered the property of men, to be used in whatever manner a man felt necessary and appropriate. In short, women were commodities, without voice or recourse.
Yeah, I know; you don’t hear that much from the American Taliban, do you?
These stories might be irrelevant to the question of biblical marriage were it not that Bible believers keep telling us that God punishes people when he dislikes their sexual behavior. He disliked the behavior of New Orleans gays so much, according to Pat Robertson, that he sent a hurricane to drown the whole city - kind of like Noah’s flood. And yet, according to the Bible story, both Abraham and Jacob were particularly beloved and blessed by God.
The point is that marriage has changed tremendously since the Iron Age when the Bible was written. For centuries, concubines and polygamy were debated by Christian leaders - accepted by some and rejected by others. The nuclear family model so prized by America’s fundamentalist Christians emerged from the interplay between Christianity and European cultures including the monogamous tradition of the Roman Empire. As humanity’s moral consciousness has evolved, coerced sex has become less acceptable even within marriage while intertribal and interracial marriage has grown in acceptance. Today even devout Bible believers oppose sexual slavery. Marriage, increasingly, is a commitment of love, freely given. Gay marriage is simply a part of this broader conversation, and opposition on the part of Bible believers has little to do with biblical monogamy.
Is it just that many modern-day Christians are scared of sex and sexuality and therefore consumed by the need/desire to control something they don’t/can’t understand? Do they feel sex to be “dirty” and “sinful” when employed for non-procreative purposes because they’ve never taken the time to examine their shame-based ethos? Or did they just never learn how to have and enjoy sex and now frankly suck (no pun intended) at it? Why is the subject of sex and sexuality something that so many seem to want to narrowly define so they can control how others express themselves?
Turns out that the “Christians” who comprise the American Taliban are inflexibly Conservative zealots with a deep-seated fear of sex and sexuality and a pronounced aversion to change (Who knew, right??). This explains how, over the course of American history, political power and moral authority has been seized and solidified by hyper-religious makes from the Conservative White majority. The desire/need to exert social, political, and ecclesiastical control over others is expressed in a number of ways, but what amuses me is the argument that “Christians are being persecuted by evil, nasty Liberals”. This argument is popular among those Conservative unable to grasp that there is no inherent right to deny a basic human right to an entire class of people. They also refuse to recognize that there’s no “right” to discriminate against those you disapprove of, and that denying them that “right” isn’t in fact the very definition of the worst sort of discrimination.
Progressivism, as we’ve seen, is a bubbling cauldron of vile, hideous hatred. They dress it up in vacuous, absurd little symbols and hashtags and bright colors, yet the elites who drive the gay agenda are not out to spread love and happiness, but hostility and suspicion. And the obedient lemmings who blindly conform, with rainbows in their Facebook photos and chanting whatever motto they’ve been assigned, don’t really understand what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. The fact that this is the same ideology to come up with vapid slogans like #LoveWins is an irony too bewildering to comprehend.
When our culture was grounded in Christian principles, we used to think of love in the way that St. Paul described it: Love is patient, love is kind, love does not boast, love is not self-seeking. Now in this progressive dystopia, love has suddenly become something that tells you to drink battery acid and die. The difference is slight, but noticeable.
Grounded in Christian principles? You mean the “Biblical model” of marriage and sexuality? Because if that’s what is meant in this case, there’s nothing patient, kind, or self-effacing about hatred, homophobia, or the “Biblical model.” Accusing others of the behavior you expect- nay, demand- to be allowed to exercise yourself is as arrogantly disingenuous as it is hilariously delusional. Hypocrisy? What hypocrisy??
The attempt to flip the script by accusing your adversaries of the very behavior you demand the exclusive right to engage in is absurd. Marriage equality harms no one…and not just because no one will be forced to marry against their will. As I’ve said what seems like a thousand times before, there’s a very simple solution available to you if you oppose marriage equality- don’t say “I do” with someone of the same gender. If you seriously believe that marriage equality will irretrievably damage your own marriage, that says something- and it’s not good- about the (distressingly poor) quality of your relationship.
The bottom line is that love is love…and if you’re leaning on your “sincerely-held religious convictions” to claim that denying a basic human right to an entire class of people, you really need to dust off your Bible and learn what your religion’s holy book actually teaches about sex and sexuality.
