Everyone Get Ready For ‘Gay Sharia’
John Zmirak is a conservative columnist who actually believes that Christians in America are facing a holocaust just like Armenians in Turkey in 1915 and Tutsis Rwanda in 1994. In an interview with Alaska GOP politician and conservative talk show host Joe Miller that was posted online today, Zmirak maintained that gay rights advocates pose a greater threat to the U.S. than ISIS since they plan to impose a version of “gay Sharia” where Christians will be forced to pay a discriminatory jizya tax…. Zmirak predicted that all churches and groups that oppose same-sex marriage will now lose their tax-exempt status, claiming that Justice Anthony Kennedy surreptitiously suggested that churches will lose their freedom of religion.
Sometimes, when I feel in need of a few giggles from the unintentionally comic and perennially overcooked, I head over to Right Wing Watch. It’s been my go-to source for everything and everyone newsworthy in high-octane, full-tilt, overheated Right-wing hyper-religiosity for years now. Regardless of whether the topic is marriage equality, hatred of Barack Obama, terrorism, gun rights, Packers fans, or God’s abject hatred of America’s predilection for sin and debauchery, the fine folks at RWW are on it. They do the heavy lifting and wallow in the mud and muck of the Far Right’s echo chamber in order that deeply impressionable people like me don’t have to. What never ceases to amaze are the completely and utterly ridiculous, baseless, and delusional things some of the loons who comprise the American Taliban believe…or at least claim to. I’m not certain I can manage to wrap my head around the idea that any lucid individual with at least a high double-digit IQ could seriously believe America faces the clear and present danger of…wait for it…GAY SHARIA!!!! Time was when I would have been angry that someone could with a straight face espouse something that could only be described as weapons-grade stupid. I have to wonder…does Zmirak ACTUALLY believe the amalgamation of words tumbling effortlessly off his tongue, or is he just trying to differentiate himself from the common, garden-variety, undermedicated hyper-Christian loons so he can maximize his fund-raising potential?
What…you think getting your message of abject, uber-Jesus-y hatred and overcooked homophobia out to the ignorant, unwashed masses is cheap? Hey, if Creflo Dollar can get his $60 million Gulfstream G5 directly from God’s own aviation supply shop, shouldn’t a faithful servant of God like John Zmirak be tossed a few shekels in order that he might continue fighting the good fight?? Just call 1-800-GOD-H8SU now; operators are standing by!!
“He was opening a door for the future destruction of orthodox Christian churches in America,” Zmirak said. “It was conscious, it was intentional and I think if we have a president like Hillary Clinton, in the first 100 days of her administration, you will see the tax-exemption of every faithful church and synagogue in America revoked. It will be presented as progress, ‘love has won and now it’s time to shoot the prisoners.’”
I’m not sure what sort of frontal-lobe malady allows a foot soldier in the American Taliban to see what Zmirak sees in the SCOTUS decision making marriage equality the law of the land. Am I missing something in Justice Anthony Kennedy’s declaration that the SCOTUS decision recognizes the LGBT community was merely seeking “equal dignity under the law”- something the Constitution guarantees Americans? I’m not certain how a decision that declares there’s no longer a dividing line between “traditional marriage” (good) and “same-sex marriage” (bad) is opening the day to “GAY SHARIA!!!” As of last Friday, there’s only marriage, the union between two people desirous only of making a lifelong commitment to one another. How that doesn’t represent a win/win for society involves a line of reasoning I can’t (and have no desire to) make sense of.
The truth is that the LGBT community only wants the same right heterosexuals enjoy…and no matter how one might choose to spin it, asking for equal rights is NOT demanding to be granted special rights. They just want to be free to do what everyone else does: marry, raise a family, buy a house in the suburbs, buy a minivan, and grow increasingly resentful as their spouse becomes progressively more distant while engaging in multiple affairs.
It’s clear that, in his mind at least, Zmirak has done his homework and knows a lot about the nefarious Homosexual Agenda and those who do the bidding of Big Gay [insert name of bogeyman here]. Who knew that wanting to make a legally sanctioned and recognized commitment to spending your life with the one you love could be such a bad, sinful, nasty, awful thing?
Remember, kids: Only you can keep America safe from the clear and present danger posed by “GAY SHARIA!!!”
