Ah, the unsolicited dick pic. Technology has made it all too tempting for men’s penises to pop up on a woman’s phone while she’s reading on the train or walking home from work. This is a fairly recent invention, because who would’ve taken their rolls of film to the local drug store to get their dick pics developed? But now that everyone has a camera phone, dick pics are ubiquitous, despite the fact that most women really, really don’t want them. Whitney Bell is one of these women. Last weekend, she premiered her Los Angeles-based art show “I Didn’t Ask For This: A Lifetime of Dick Pics,” which showcased the magnitude of the unsolicited dick pics she’s received.
I can think of few things sillier…and probably more offensive…than sending an unsolicited picture of your johnson in all its glory to someone who didn’t ask for it. As much as you might be impressed with your manhood, the beauty of au naturel male genitalia is most definitely in the eye of the beholder…and if you didn’t ask to see it, you’re probably not going to be stunned by its “beauty.” If your inamorata asks for a picture of you in all your engorged glory, then by all means record it for posterity and transmit it through the ether. When you assume a woman can’t wait to see the “goods”…well, remember that what happens on the Internet doesn’t always stay quiet on the Internet, eh?
I suppose there’s something in the mind of some Penis-Americans which allows them to believe that Vagina-Americans can’t wait to see what they’re packing. Truth is- and if any of these guys did some due diligence, they’d understand- that there’s little universally attractive about the male penis. If you’re involved in a sexual relationship with someone who appreciates what you bring to the table, she may well enjoy a graphic representation of your purple-headed yogurt slinger, perhaps even to use as wallpaper on her cell phone. As a rule, though, women don’t dissolve in paroxysms of unrequited lust when they see a penis. It’s part of the male anatomy, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with it, but it’s not the sort of thing women lose themselves fantasizing about. I’m generalizing, of course, but women don’t look at sex the way men generally do- not that men prone to thinking with the wrong head understand this.
At least Ms. Bell has decided to do something to make a statement. Of course, if your default is to send an unsolicited picture of your manhood to a woman posthaste…because you think she’ll LOVE it as much as you do…you can’t claim to be surprised if your genitalia ends up framed and currently on display at Ms. Bell’s gallery show in Los Angeles.
Mama would be SO proud to know you support the arts, eh?
