(courtesy of Judith Weiss at Kesher Talk)
An Austin joke, offered for your enjoyment and edification:
Three guys are in a bar: an Aggie, a Californian, and a guy from Austin. They drink and get a little rowdy. [editorial comment: Aggie jokes are in Texas what Polack jokes are in the Northeast.] Suddenly, completely without warning, the Aggie grabs a bottle of tequila, unscrews the top, takes a good swig, and throws the bottle in the air. He then jerks out a Colt 45 pistol and shoots the bottle, spraying tequila all over everything and everybody.
The patrons at the bar shout, "Hey bud, why'd you waste that tequila?"
The Aggie says "Heck, it's just tequila. Us Aggie's go across the border all the time and get all the tequila we want."
Not to be outdone, the Californian whips out a corkscrew and uncorks a bottle of wine. He pours a little bit into a glass, swirls it in the glass, sniffs, comments on the tart insolent piquancy of its bouquet, sips, tosses the bottle in the air, nicks it with a round from a little chrome plated pistol, and showers a couple of patrons at the bar with wine.
The patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern for their safety, express their displeasure and astonishment, to which the Californian replies, "Well, I'm from the Napa Valley, and we have more than enough wine where I come from."
The Austinite, a quiet observer until this point, touches the crystal hanging from his neck, checks out his tattoo, flips back his ponytail, and puts down his guitar. He pops the top off a Shiner beer, hammers it back, throws the empty bottle into the air, pulls a 9mm Beretta, takes careful aim, shoots both the Californian and the Aggie, and catches the falling bottle.
The patrons scream,"Why did you do that!?!"
The Austinite replies, "I'm from Austin. We've got too many Aggie's and WAY too many Californians, but glass bottles, now - those can be recycled!!
For you UT grads, Judith was kind enough to share a source of Aggie jokes.
