I was finally able to go back to work today, and it felt good to return to something that felt normal. It's going to be awhile before Susan is back to anything close to "normal", but I felt that it was important for me to try and get back into life. Susan is OK at home, and there are people around who can look in on her. I work only eight miles from home, so if something comes up, I can be home in 15 minutes.
I did feel a bit guilty about leaving Susan at home, but she is sleeping 16-20 hours a day, so it's not as if I'm missing much. Right now, rest is probably the best thing she can do for herself, and if I'm not there she doesn't feel guilty about not being "good company".
It's going to take awhile to get back into the routine at work, but there was something comforting about being around a group of people whose company I really do enjoy. I realized early on that I hadn't laughed in 10 days, and just being able to feel like laughing again was a welcome change.
As much as I want to be able to take care of her, there really is little for me to do at this point. What she needs is rest, and what I need is to take care of business and support my family. My boss was gracious enough to tell me to take whatever time I needed to deal with Susan's illness, but I don't feel the need to take advantage of the situation. I know it's going to be awhile for Susan, but I need to have some normalcy back in my life. It's about the only "normal" thing I'll have for awhile. Even so, the fact that I do feel comfortable in leaving Susan at home is progress. She may not be feeling well, but she is certainly better. Baby steps....
