Army mom: 'My children have always been first'
Well, at that time when I went to court, I had let the judge know that me and my husband were both home on emergency leave to help deal with this situation. And it was decided amongst many people that it is best for those children to reside in our home for the stability. And to maintain that, one of us needed to be here, because Colorado law states that if me and my husband are both not in this country, those two children do go back with their biological mother.... I am considered AWOL right now and I do have my other five children that I do care for, as well. So it's not just these two, but it's because of what my husband's ex-wife did that caused both of us to have to come back from Iraq.
- SPC4 Simone Holcomb
The Army always tries to do the right thing. In this situation, the appropriate chain of command needs to make a decision. The Army hopes for a solution that is amenable to all parties. Specialist Holcomb does have a commitment to her children, but she has a commitment to the Army, as well.
- Army Spokesman Steve Stover
It's a dilemma that faces every mobilized soldier with a family: "What about my children?" It's bad enough when one parent is mobilized to an overseas assignment, but what happens when both parents are mobilized? Throw in a custody dispute, and I doubt you could imagine the depth of the anguish each parent experiences when they are separated from their family.
Way back when, I was an Army Reserve officer, a 2nd lieutenant in a Military Police unit. I understand the importance and the primacy of the mission, whatever that mission might be. Nonetheless, this is not your father's military, and frankly, the Pentagon has done a damn poor job of changing with the times.
Surely there is someone in the Pentagon willing to recognize and understand that no soldier can function effectively when they have a custody battle back home. Would it not benefit morale and unit cohesion to recognize an individual's situation and grant them leave to get things under control? Of course, there is the question of where to draw the line, but commanders are trained and expected to make difficult decisions every day. The reality is that the demographics of today's armed forces is not the same as it was 20 or 30 years ago. Until the Pentagon and commanders in the field recognize this reality and come up with a coherent strategy to deal with it, stories like this will continue to be told.
That sad thing is that it doesn't need to be this way. This is one of the reasons that the armed forces have trouble retaining trained and qualified people. No one wants to feel as if they are expected to make their family a second priority- and no one will make that sacrifice for very long. No one should have to be placed in a position where they are forced to choose between their career and their family- particular if that person is a member of the armed forces.
Memo to Donald Rumsfeld: Wake up and smell the cat litter!!!
