Kobe, your wife won’t stop making a fool out of you until she believes you look as foolish as she did holding your hand at the press conference when you first answered charges that you raped a hotel desk clerk.
- Jason Whitlock
Is there anything more pathetic these days than Kobe Bryant (OK, except for George W. Bush and Bernard Kerik….)? Here’s an athlete who had it all: money, fame, endorsements, championship rings, a beautiful wife…. So what does he do? He a) rapes or b) has consensual sex with a 19-year-old hotel employee in Colorado. Either way, he committed adultery. Why? Who the hell knows? Or cares? The end result is still the same. Kobe Bryant is a DUMB@$$.
What I want to know is this: Why in the HELL can’t Kobe shut the hell up and get about the business of putting his life and his marriage back together? Is he really so immature, self-absorbed, and self-centered that he cannot bear to have the spotlight focused elsewhere? Apparently so. This proves my theory that DUMB@$$E$ are born, not made. And while it’s true that one is born every minute, the truly world-class DUMB@$$E$ such as Kobe Bryant are a rare (and yet disturbingly tiresome) breed.
I feel sorry for you. It seems as if the whole world has turned against you. No one in the league likes you. You’ve pushed your family away. Even mild-mannered Phil Jackson has taken shots at you.
You need a friend, Kobe. You need a mentor. You need an older black male in your life to provide you with some guidance. I’m the spokesperson for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City. BBBS matches Little Brothers with Big Brothers. I figured I could be your Big Brother, a mentor willing to share some hard truths with you….
Kobe, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut. You talk too much. Damn, dude, when the police asked you what happened between you and a 19-year-old, you ran off at the mouth and dragged Shaq’s reputation through the mud. You’re making a fool out of yourself, Kobe.
Tell Jim Gray: no more interviews. Quit talking to reporters. Stay off of ESPN. Kornheiser and Wilbon are great guys, but five good minutes for them are just five more bad minutes for you. And, my God, what were you thinking when you let Stephen A., John Saunders and Greg Anthony grill you on “NBA Shootaround?” I know your buddy at the L.A. Times, T.J. Simers, is one guy you feel is on your side. But he’s playing you, too. Every time you open your mouth to T.J. and confirm a juicy story, you’re just putting money in T.J.’s pocket and making yourself look like a buster.
More than anything else, Kobe Bryant needs to recognize the Universal Truth: Kobe, NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK. Memo to Kobe: Lakers fans are happy as long as you continue to help the Lakers win basketball games. The rest of us just wish you would disappear into the obscurity you so richly deserve. Of course, that will never happen, because Jerry Buss has mortgaged the future of the franchise to keep you happy. Buss has done everything short of fellating you, and yet you still feel the need to demand yet more of the spotlight…never mind the fact that said spotlight is not exactly showcasing your good side. You’re a greedy, venal, self-absorbed, ignorant, inconsiderate, spoiled brat- and everyone seems painfully cognizant of this fact except for you. Stop talking…just shut the hell up and go away, willya? We’re tired of you thinking that we actually care about what you think and/or have to say. You’re a DUMB@$$, and you will always be a DUMB@$$…and a rather tiresome one at that.
Some of us are counting the days until you retire and we no longer have to be subjected to the media slavishly hanging on your every self-absorbed word (there is a parking spot in Hell reserved for Jim Gray). If you retired tomorrow, it still wouldn’t be soon enough.
Kobe, will you please just take a not-so-subtle hint and go away…far away? Hopefully to some remote corner of the globe where there are no cameras, no microphones, and no Jim Gray??
