OK, so you’ve already been to the hospital to have your labor induced so you could avoid having a child with a birthdate of 6.6.06. Now what? Well, how about going to Hell…Michigan? Where else? Today is Hell’s day in the metaphorical sun, just like Intercourse, PA, and Blue Ball, PA when some porno magazine publisher decided it would be great fun to mail their latest issues from those two towns. Needless to say, the locals were something less than enthralled by the whole idea. Hell, however, seems to be embracing their 15 minutes with something resembling open arms.
HELL, MICH. - They’re planning a hot time in Hell on Tuesday.
The day bears the date of 6-6-06, or 666 — a number that, according to a much disputed passage in the Bible’s Book of Revelation, signifies the devil.
And there’s not a snowball’s chance in Hell that the day will go unnoticed in the unincorporated hamlet 60 miles west of Detroit.
Nobody is more fired up than John Colone, the town’s self-styled mayor and owner of a souvenir shop.
“I’ve got ‘666’ T-shirts and mugs. I’m only ordering 666 (of the items) so once they’re gone, that’s it,” said Colone, also known as Odum Plenty. “Everyone who comes will get a letter of authenticity saying you’ve celebrated June 6, 2006, in Hell.”
Most of Colone’s wares will sell for $6.66, including deeds to one square inch of Hell.
Of course, if you’re going to live in Hell, you’ve pretty much ceded your right to complain about any activities deriving from the name of your hometown. So, if you’re a born-again Christian, shut the Hell up (no pun intended),,,or, better yet, move.
The 666 revelry is just the latest chapter in the town’s storied history of publicity stunts, said resident Jason LeTeff — or, as the mayor calls them, Hellions or Hell-billies. But LeTeff wasn’t particularly enthused.
“Now, here I am living in Hell, taking my kids to church and trying to teach them the right things, and the town where we live is having a 6-6-6 party,” he said.
Wait just a damn minute here. You live in Hell (and here I just thought I lived in Hell during the summer months), and you’re complaining that some folks are having a party on 6.6.06? I tell you what; I’ve got just the place for you. Somewhere in Oregon’s Willamette Valley is a little group of wacked-out zealots who live in what they call the Embassy of Heaven. You might like it there…and you can bet they won’t be having any “666” parties, eh?