I See Jesus (thanks to Jonathan Teller!!)
You’ve seen the pictures and heard the stories- Jesus on a pizza pan, Jesus on a grilled cheese sandwich, even Jesus on a refrigerator. And how often do the people propagating these stories end up laughing all the way to the bank? More often than you might think, so the fine entrepreneurs at I See Jesus have come up with a way for struggling businesses to increase their cash flow and their profile by simply using the awesome- and free- advertising power of the print and broadcast media.
By simply and skillfully combining free and copious media exposure with the drawing power of the Almighty, you can market yourself and your struggling business to believers the world over. Before long, throngs of the devout will be lining up at your door, buying your products and increasing your cash flow. Yes, almost overnight, you’ll be shouting “Praise Jeebus!!” as you head to the bank with a well-deserved smile on your face. And the fine folks at I See Jesus will do it for mere pennies on the dollar.
Yes, you may be suspicious…but check out these examples of how using the drawing power of the Almighty increased cash flow exponentially for these folks:
A restauranteur on the East coast has sagging sales and needs a boost. He contacts IseeJesus.com. A week later, in full view of staff and customers, the owner ‘accidently’ drops a bag of flour. The resulting flour cloud settles across a visible surface (wall or pizza oven). Before everyone, the owner stares oddly at the wall, walks over to it, takes a large breath, and blows off the flour. Suddenly, in the remaining flour stuck to the wall, a holy face can now be seen. Word of mouth spreads and the restaurant serves as much pizza as they can make to those who’ve come to see….
A building landlord in a Canadian city is having trouble finding renters. He emails IseeJesus.com. A few days later, while showing a space to a prospective tenant, she stops and takes a long look at the large picture window in the lobby. She asks the landlord if he can see anything on the window if he looks at the window from a particular angle. He looks. In the shimmering oily sheen on the window he sees a larger than life-size image that they both recognize. Word spreads and many come to see the image. The landlord is able to rent all the spaces in the building to people who wish to see the image regularly and other businesses who service the crowds.
In a rural Mid-Western town, the high school’s football team is desperately lacking funds. A booster contacts IseeJesus.com. At Friday’s home game, a fan notices an odd pattern in the grass in front of the home team’s bleachers. A natural combination of fertilizer burn, cut angle, and die off has taken on the distinct image of a face. By halftime, whispers have spread through the stadium of what can be seen. At the following game, the bleacher’s are full, more donations are made, and many more school colors are sold. The next year the fence around the field is covered with sponser’s ads.
The beautiful thing about using I See Jesus is that you’re confined only by the limits of your imagination. Need to raise money fast? Is the bank knocking at your door? Are sales down? Is your balance sheet looking a bit too red for your liking? Then how about letting I See Jesus tell you how they can work their magic for you? They’ve helped others go from red ink to black almost overnight…and they can do the same for you.
Call now! Operators are standing by!! And remember- God helps those who help themselves!!!
