The Hydrox Cookie Is Dead, and Fans Won’t Get Over It
Robert Fliegel was craving a Hydrox. The 52-year-old computer consultant says he always liked the way the chocolate sandwich cookie, which he found crisper than Oreos, “stood up to the milk” when dunked. But Mr. Fliegel, who used to be able to devour an entire package of the cr‚àö¬Æme-filled biscuits in a sitting, couldn’t find them in any stores near his East Stroudsburg, Pa., home. Only when he went online a few months ago to try to order some did he learn the truth: Hydrox is dead. In 2003, without warning or announcement, Kellogg Co. killed off the cookie — by then rechristened Droxies — after failing to gain ground against the dominant Oreo, one of the country’s best-selling snack foods…. “This is a dark time in cookie history,” wrote Gary Nadeau of O’Fallon, Mo., last year on a Web site devoted to Hydrox. “And for those of you who say, ‘Get over it, it’s only a cookie,’ you have not lived until you have tasted a Hydrox.”
OK…Americans are dying in Iraq, the uninsured are dying because they can’t afford proper health care, and you’re worried about the demise of your favorite (&^%$#@ cookie? Please tell me you’re kidding…and if you’re not, you really need to remove your anterior from your posterior, knowwhutimean??
I suppose it should be taken as a sign of how truly blessed and overly wealthy our great nation is. If we’re reduced to worrying about no longer being able consume our favorite sugar and transfat-laden snack food, life must be pretty damn good, no?? What amazes me, though, is that Kellogg killed off the Hydrox in 2003…and five years later, some folks are finally waking up to that reality. If it takes you five years to figure out that your favorite cookie gone the way of the buffalo, how big a problem can this possibly be?
“A dark time in cookie history”?? Sounds like someone needs to spend a week in Baghdad or Darfur, no? If the biggest burr under your saddle is that realization that your favorite cookie has been pulled from the market, you really do lead a charmed existence. Given all of the actual tragedies occurring in today’s world, you might just want to tone down the whining…unless you enjoy being laughed out of town.
Dude, just grab a box of Oreos and some warm milk, OK? Things will seem much better in just a few minutes. Then perhaps you can find something truly important to whine about.
