Texas Governor Rick Perry admitted to the press yesterday that he actually occasionally feels fear deep within his mighty, manful chest — fear of legless, poisonous reptile-monsters. This confession took place in the only context in which a male Texan is allowed to discuss vulnerability or emotions of any sort: as part of anecdote about how he shot some living thing in the head and left its corpse to moulder, out in the blighted wasteland that he calls home.
Faced with a choice between a pet dog and a coyote, I have to admit that, if I happened to be packing a .380 Ruger loaded with hollow-tipped bullets while jogging, I’d probably take out the coyote. No big controversy there. Of course, this being Texas Governor Rick Perry, no one even batted an eyelash wondering why and how he was packing heat WHILE HE WAS JOGGING. Hell, in Texas most REAL men carry a sidearm to get their mail, so the idea of pumping a few hollow points into a coyote while out for a run hardly even seems newsworthy. Then again, this saga should serve as definitive proof that Governor Goodhair is truly a man’s man…and a real, red-blooded Texas patriot if ever there was one.
Real Texans shoot first and the let God sort things out. It’s almost as if the Second Amendment was designed with God’s Country Texas in mind, eh? There’s no doubt that Governor Goodhair is sending a very clear message to coyotes and other evil critters, like Libruls and tree-huggers: don’t (&^% with my dog. Real Conservatives shoot first and ask questions later. Hasta la vista, Mr. Coyote….
Hollow points…when you care enough to send the very best….
