I could spend a lot of time, energy and column inches bemoaning the sorry moral state of humanity, but sometimes it works just as well to allow the stories to speak for themselves. Therefore, without further ado, allow me to introduce what can only charitably be described as a rogues gallery….
French man who registered 55 children, all with different mothers, faces fraud charges. Man, somebody’s been busy, eh? And the child support payments must be EPIC….
Hilarious Tuesday Video: Cindy Jacobs Melodramatically Repents for Lesbianism. Well, I suppose somebody had to do it. Lesbians aren’t perfect, but now they’re forgiven. They must be ecstatic.
Christine O’Donnell ‘a Complete Fraud,’ Says Phone-Robot. Yes, when masturbation is outlawed, only outlaws will masturbate. And now that she’s won the Delaware GOP Primary, get ready to hear more discussions of masturbation than you’d EVER thought possible (or reasonable).
Why Is This South Carolina Senate President Playing Confederate Dress-up With Slaves? Hmm…sounds like Glenn McConnell has some ‘splainin’ to do, eh? I can hear his argument now: “No, man…the darkies, they LOVE this stuff!!” Yeah, right.
TWO Special Report: ‘The Stealth Bombers Meeting’ [Dispatches from Lou Engle’s Gateway House of Prayer 6/22/10]. You have to love a guy so committed to his cause that he sends his son to San Francisco, where he has a vision involving a three-story-tall homosexual man. Stay away from the brown acid, man….
Facebook CEO Admits To Calling Users ‘Dumb Fucks’. Hmm…methinks that perhaps Mark Zuckerberg has himself an EPIC PR problem, don’tchathink??
Maggots gone from coffee maker, McDonald’s owner says. Owner Bob “Dutch” Van Poppelen might want to start by explaining how it’s possible that maggots could end up in a coffee maker. Uh, yeah; somebody REALLY has some ‘splainin’ to do. Ugh….
HFCS Rebranding As “Corn Sugar”. Are you worried that your product is getting a bad rap for making people fat? No worries; it’s nothing that some thoughtful professional marketing and re-branding can’t cure. Thank you for smoking!!
Presented Without Comment. Ginni Thomas (yes, the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas) is the worst sort of pandering Tea Party zealot. She is free, of course, to hold her opinions, but given the important position her husband holds, her wacky, ignorant zealotry should be cause for concern. Then again, when your avocation depends on pandering to “low information” voters, why would you want to bite the hand that feeds you?
Reggie Bush forfeits his Heisman Trophy. When you think the rules don’t apply to you, this is what you get. Nice role model, eh??
Redskins Star Makes Shocking Claim About Female Reporters. Clinton Portis, in discussing the presence of female reporters in locker rooms, just revealed himself to be a Grade A pig. This might have been news had not the reporter, Ines Saenz, played a large role in creating the situation to get her 15 minutes of fame. Ms. Saenz?? Playboy on line two…. Hey, it worked for Larissa Riquelme….
Remember 9/11 and Say No to the Ground Zero Mosque. Luther Campbell is ALL about freedom of expression when it comes to his music and his misogyny. Not so much when it comes to Islam, though. Freedom of religion? HELL, no!! He is NOT down with that.
