The grim situation in Scandinavia worsened over the weekend as the Norwegian government, attempting to cling to power in the face of a severe butter shortage, arrested two Swedes who’d been attempting to smuggle 550 pounds of butter over the border. Americans have so far largely ignored the crisis developing in the Nordic countries: a faddish low-carb, high-fat diet, a bad year for dairy production, and the vicious and violent nature of life in the frozen north have combined to create a severe lack of butter—even as Scandinavians are gearing up for their most-celebrated holiday, “Christmas.”
An update on a recent story:
A few days ago, I wrote about how Norway is about to run out of butter (What’s next…lutefisk and pickled herring? Oh, the humanity….). While innocent Norwegian children suffer and brutal butterlords near the Arctic Circle continue hoarding milk supplies in order to drive up the price even further, things are becoming truly desperate. A few days ago, two Swedish men snuck across the border into Norway, where they were busted with 550 lbs. of sweet, creamy, buttery goodness divided into 18-oz. packets.
With Norwegians becoming increasingly desperate in the face of a butter shortage expected to last into 2012, it’s expected that the Ministry of Breakfast Foods will soon institute toast rationing. While such a drastic measure would undoubtedly spark riots and lynchings among Americans, most Norwegians expect to grit their teeth and get through it the best they can.
What else are they going to do? Invade Denmark??
