Gee, what better way to improve on a good thing, eh? What says “I love you, but…” more than plastic surgery? Or perhaps you just want more of a good thing when the lights go out? Yep, why not giving your blushing bride a new pair of breasts?
Ever since I moved to Texas 7+ years ago, I’ve been fascinated by the popularity of plastic surgery here. Texas has no monopoly on cosmetic procedures, of course, but it does seem that more women here are dependent on conforming to male fantasies (buxom, blonde) and basing their perception of their own happiness on that.
Ah, the holidays. Time for eggnog, caroling and Botox.
It’s the season of giving and getting, and in Houston that means plastic surgeons are working overtime performing face-lifts, breast augmentations, liposuctions and tummy tucks.
Much of their business is from husbands and boyfriends giving their loved ones everything from major cosmetic surgeries to stocking stuffers such as collagen treatments and Botox injections.
That’s the case with Kendra Schroeder of Pasadena, whose husband gave her a new pair of breasts as an early Christmas present at Thanksgiving.
The 26-year-old leasing agent says she couldn’t wait to collect on her gift; Dr. Franklin Rose performed her augmentation surgery two weeks ago, just in time for holiday parties.
“I never had breasts, and I wanted something there,” said Schroeder, whose husband is a chemical plant operator and spent $7,000 on the operation. “It’s the most expensive Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten and probably always will be. I feel very loved that he was willing to do that for me.”
Should we be drawing the conclusion that the gift of cosmetic surgery is one sure way for a man to show his love?
Hmm…does that mean that Susan will be thinking that I don’t love her if there aren’a a new pair of breasts under the tree on Christmas morning? Wow, now I have something else to worry about, eh?
Yep, what better to express your desire to be married to a Barbie doll than to give your wife or girlfriend new breasts this Christmas?
(Speaking of breasts, the Transportation Safety Administration has announced new pat-down guidelines that will exclude women’s breasts from being fondled/squeezed/caressed in the name of security. Does this mean, then, that terrorists could conceivably use a 42D as a means of hiding and delivering weapons? Should we be worried that Anna Nicole Smith might unwittingly be responsible for the next 9.11? Be afraid, America…be very afraid….)
